Well today was just one big waste of time. Went to the hospital this morning for my pre-addmission appointment.
Of course a heavily pregnant woman would have to come and sit next to me in the waiting room. So then I couldnt get my mind off her, wondering what she was there for, ultrasound or blood test? Wishing that was me instead. Wanting to tell her to be careful and not to assume that everything will be ok.
Then I kept thinking that the nurse or doctor would ask me if I had children. And I spent most of my time while I was waiting thinking about how to answer.
Then the pregnant lady got called in. Her husband waited in the waiting room. When she came back out she sort of just stood in the doorway and waited for her husband to get up, with a blank look on her face. And for a second my heart skipped a beat, but then she smiled at him and I thought, oop no they are fine, their baby is fine - stop thinking crazy thoughts.
So anyway I saw the nurse she took all my details (she didnt ask whether or not I had any kids luckily) and then she gave me some brochures about the operation and asked if I had any questions, then she pretty much said see you later. So I drove back to my sister-in-laws house and on the way I was thinking wasnt I supposed to see a doctor too? So after several phone calls to the hospital and them transferring me to the wrong department numerous times I finally got onto the nurse that I had seen. I aksed her if my appointment had finished or was I supposed to see a doctor too? She said oh yes didnt I tell you to wait in the waiting room? So I had to drive back to the hospital where I had to wait another hour to see the doctor. He pretty much asked me the same questions as the nurse had and then he ordered a blood test and sent me on my way.
So I am no closer to finding out when my operation is at all. They said I will receive another letter in the mail advising me of the date. So back to the waiting game.
I also had to have an ultrasound on my right ovary to see if a cyst that was detected back in October has gone yet. I was supossed to have it done in November but never got around to it.
So I have my fingers crossed that the cyst is gone! I have an appointment on Wed at my doc's to find out. Of course I cant help thinking that I am going to get the worst news possible , like its grown heaps and ill need an operation or I have cancer or something. I cant help it, I think my ability to think positively was taken from me.
This hectic thing we call life.
5 weeks ago