Well I ordered a cake for Jack's birthday. I decided against making one as I wanted it to be perfect and to be honest I'm not that good a cake maker. It is going to be white with blue flowers and a rattle on it along with his name and birth date. I will be sure to post some pictures.
The restaurant is all booked, I just have to order some balloons and I think we will place an add in our paper too. But other than that I am all organised, its come around so quick Ive hardly even had time to think about it.
Every now and then at work I glance at the calendar and I think to myself this time last year I was feeling unwell, my blood pressure had sky rocketed, why didn't I just go the hospital? Why did I wait to see the stupid doctor again? If only I could go back and change everything.
On the weekend I decided to change the position of the cot in Jacks room. (I still call it Jacks room, its going to be really hard to call it someone else's room eventually)
I really wanted to buy a new cot, a nice white one. Not because the one we have isn't brand new because it is, but because every time I looked in the room I could feel bad karma or something. It felt like the room was laughing at me, saying ha ha ha look at what you set up in here and don't you feel ridiculous now!
Hubby wasn't so keen on getting rid of the cot, its not like Jack used it or anything and I could understand his point of view too. So then I had an idea to change the room around and I feel much better about it now.
Its still the same room and the same cot, but somehow it doesn't seem so scary and menacing as before. Crazy I know! But obviously I just needed something in there to be different than before - so that in the back of my mind I can hope that next time things will be different.
This hectic thing we call life.
4 months ago